Life management insights, strategies, hints, ideas, and tips from Dr. DClutter™.

Friday, April 30, 2010


I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. DClutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™.

Dr. DClutter™

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Shame and Blame

Don't allow shame and blame to drive you deeper into a negative behavior. Admit to yourself that you have behaviors that need to change and confess (to someone-if you desire, or not), then ask for help. The main thing is not to allow yourself to remain or retreat to a place that keeps you burdened.

Dr. DClutter™

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Apologies Not Allowed

Here's one simple caveat I want you to remember. If you're living a life based on apologies-stop. If you're living a life that is fulfilling to you, that allows you to be the person you want to be and allows you to be a fully FUNCTIONAL individual-apologies are not allowed. Even if you've not arrived at that point, but are moving swiftly towards that point-apologies are not allowed.

Dr. DClutter™

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Home Sweet Home

I'm headed home, a wee bit tired (exhausted), but grateful for the opportunity to help another family transform their lives. "Yes". I'm talking to my shower and bed now. I can hear you with the sound of the water running in the shower and I can feel the warmth and comfort of my bed. I'll be home soon sweeties!!

Dr. DClutter™

Monday, April 26, 2010

On the Road Again

Had a great time in Illinois and it was nowhere near as COLD as it was the last few times!! No heavy layers or bubble jacket required!!

Dr. DClutter™

Friday, April 23, 2010


I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. DClutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™.

Dr. DClutter™

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Persistence

Once I get a thought or idea in my head, it's full steam ahead. Sometimes I hit a snag, roadblock or dead end, but I keep going until I have a resolution, either favorable or not. If you're faced with a task that seems insurmountable, keep trying. Persistence pays off.



Dr. DClutter™

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Mix it Up!!

Bored? Tired? In a rut? Mix it up!! I've written about routine and automation a number of times, but who says you can't change things up a bit? Tired of cleaning the bathroom on Saturday? Try doing it on Tuesday. Better yet, if you can, hire someone else to do it. Bored with chicken for dinner? Try lean cuts of beef, pork, turkey or a meatless meal. Is the scenery in your life, either physically or emotionally, becoming too predictable? Try a different route or create a new state of mind. Mix it up!!


Dr. DClutter™

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Savor the Moment

With our harried, hurried, and hectic schedules, it's easy to worry our way through precious moments with concerns about tomorrow. Don't!! Take the time to ensure that you don't rush away today thinking about tomorrow.


Dr. DClutter™

Monday, April 19, 2010

Precious Time

Is your time a precious commodity to you? Do you think others think that time is precious as well? Great!! Now, remember that the next time you decide it's okay to arrive late or not show up at all, without the benefit of a courtesy call to say so. I know, the truth hurts, but it also heals.





Dr. DClutter™

Friday, April 16, 2010


I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. DClutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™.

Dr. DClutter™

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Still Me

As I've stated before, I read a wonderful book, "Living Oprah", and was inspired and entertained by it. At one point, the author, Robyn Okrant, talks about how her life changed in the span of a few minutes, after an appearance on the Today show. It was a riot, I must say. She went in as Robyn, but came out as "Oprah Lady". People were beginning to recognize her from her appearance on the show and she marveled at the thought that TV could make someone "more interesting". Well, I haven't had the experience of being recognized from my TV appearances in public, but I did have a moment that I thought was just as fantastic.

I received an email from a person who'd viewed my episode of Hoarders and wanted help, but she'd forgotten to include her area code. So, I set forth on an investigation to find the missing information. Okay, that sounds grander than it actually was. I used the Internet to search for her hometown (which she'd included in the email) to find the area code. To my chagrin, there were about 10 different area codes listed. Not to be deterred, I started at the top of the list and worked my way down, calling each, until I found the correct one. Okay, I admit, that was a bit time consuming, but wait for it, it will be clear why it was worth the effort. Finally, I find the correct combination and I call her. She answers the telephone, I introduce myself, and she starts screaming and crying at the same time!! After a few seconds, she calms down and I ask what brought that burst of emotion. She said she was surprised that I'd called her back. "Huh?" Wasn't that what she wanted me to do in response to her email? "Yes", but she never thought that I would actually call her. "Why?" I asked. Now stay with me because within the very same moment I felt about as humbled as I ever have and had something similar to the "Okrant Oprah Lady" experience as well. She said, "I never thought the Dr. would call me back. You're on TV!!" Through my laughter (not at her, but at her comment), I was able to explain that I'm the same person she saw on TV. I even told her that I still take out my own trash!! I'm still me. No pretense, no celebrity attitude, still me. It was a great moment. It's funny the status we ascribe to those we see on a once small, black and white device that most Americans didn't even have when it first came out. But now, there are televisions in multiple rooms of many of our homes and we make judgments, good or bad, positive or negative, about those we view on them. I'm just glad that I'm still me.

Dr. DClutter™

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Emotions Denied

Humans are born with many emotions. Would you agree with that statement? Would you further agree that we then spend a lifetime trying to deny and hide most of them? If you feel sad and someone asks how you're feeling, are you likely to tell the truth? Generally not. You'd probably say, "I'm okay" or "I'm fine", when in actuality, you're neither. Why do you think it is that we want to hide our true emotions from those around us? Do you think it would be viewed as a sign of weakness? Perhaps you think it would alter someone's view of the person you are? Here's my thinking on the matter. You knew this was coming, didn't you? If I'm feeling happy, sad, glad, mad, frustrated, content, empty, fulfilled, exhilarated, exhausted, scared, empowered or "fine" and you ask me, I'm going to tell you. Now, I probably won't go into great detail about why I'm experiencing that emotion (unless I think you really want to know), but my thought is that you shouldn't ask me how I'm feeling if you don't really want to know. Denying any emotion is not healthy and it can lead to all sorts of health problems (I'm sure you know a few). Acknowledge your feelings, deal with your feelings and above all, express your feelings.
Dr. DClutter™

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just Like Try

Remember my thoughts (and revisions) on the word "try"? No? Well for a refresher, take a gander back to 2/25/09 and 8/5/09. Now that we're all on the same page, let's discuss how "just" is the new "try". I've heard this so many times, and I'm sure you have as well. Heck, you've probably even said it a few times. Someone asks you what you "do" and you answer, "I'm JUST a… (fill-in-the-blank). You perform a good deed and when thanked, you say, "It was nothing. I was "JUST" (fill-in-the-blank). Notice a pattern? The word "just", when used in this manner serves to devalue who you are or the deeds you've done. It becomes a negative part of speech. So, here we go again. Just (it's use is acceptable here) as we did with "try", we're going to do with "just". From this point on, when someone asks what you "do" tell them, without using the word "just" to negate what you've said. You'll be amazed at how empowering that will be.

Dr. DClutter™

Monday, April 12, 2010

True Vision?

Are there areas of your life in which you just will not compromise? What if you could benefit from that change in a monetary manner? Would you change your belief system? What if you were offered an opportunity to endorse a product that you really didn't believe in, but that came with a "fat" endorsement check? Would you vacillate? What if you were offered a job that came with so many bells and whistles, bonuses and perks that the offer would make you salivate? Would you waver? What if a friend asked your opinion and you disagreed with her. Would you censor your words to avoid hurting her feelings? These could be tough situations in which to find yourself, but if you remain true to your vision, the answers may be easier than you think.

Dr. DClutter™

Friday, April 9, 2010


I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. DClutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™.

Dr. DClutter™

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Auto Dependent

I've been known to say that I'm highly independent, with a side of help-me-when-I-need-help thrown in for good measure. Sadly, recently my car had to visit the mechanic; (don't you just love when that happens?) and she (yes, my car is a "she") had to stay. I thought I would manage and maybe get a ride here and there. Well, "here" was where I was for the most part because people have their own lives, I quickly discovered, especially when I needed a ride. Thankfully, I survived. I also learned something about myself-I'm auto dependent!! No, that's not a deeply profound or psychological concept. It simply means that I've learned that I am a car person. I need my car. I want my car. I even missed my car. Without it, I joined the masses on the subway, but I drew the line at riding the bus. In the past, when I was a "bus rider", I never failed to attract the most "colorful' passengers. Not once. So, not wanting to improve on my odds, I stuck to the subway and my favorite method of transportation, after driving, the pedestrian mode. I felt like Forrest Gump, without the quirky tales and the running. But if I was going somewhere, you could believe I was "walking". Nothing against public transportation, it serves a great purpose and provides a great service, but give me four wheels and something with which to steer them to my destination. I did feel good during my car free days that I was contributing less to polluting the air, clogging the roads and feeding the monster that is supply and demand for gasoline-but I don't want to have to do it again-ever!! If I had my druthers, give me my car or give me…no I'm not going to say death-that's just too dramatic, but I really love having my car.

Dr. DClutter™

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Growth Spurt?

No, I'm not referring to puberty, when you could be a runt and become a giant all within the same month. I'm talking about an adult growth spurt when life has not panned out to be what you envisioned it would be. It's funny because at times, I'm a walking contradiction (and I admit it). On one hand, I'm rarely bored, but on another I can become bored in an instant. I'm bored when things aren't changing in my world. Are you like that? I am by no means an adventurous person. There's no jumping out of planes for a thrill or climbing a mountain "just because it's there". Nope, pretty tame life compared to those standards, but I do need to keep growing and moving forward or I'll "lose it"-whatever "it" is.

Dr. DClutter™

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Job Satisfaction?

Can you honestly say that you "love" your job? Okay, maybe love is too strong a word. Can you say that you "like" your job? Okay, maybe you need another option. Can you say that you "tolerate" your job? If you fall in the either of the last two categories, I have one question for you? Why are you still there? Now, before you bombard me with "I have to make a living to support myself", or "I'd be crazy to quit my job. We're in a recession and unemployment is in the double digits", STOP. Those reasons are valid and a given. I'm not telling you to quit your job TODAY to search for your dream job. I'm simply asking "why" you're in a job that you "hate". Oh, "hate" is too strong? How about "loathe"? Still too strong? How about "tolerate". Oh, wait, isn't that last question in the first series of questions? Coincidence? I think not.


Dr. DClutter™

Monday, April 5, 2010

Loving Monday

I love Mondays. I know that seems like a contradiction in terms since I often bemoan Mondays, but let me explain. I love Mondays when I can do absolutely, positively nothing, except the thing(s) I really want to do. I do my best not to schedule appointments, conferences, speaking engagements, calls or anything harder than breathing, on that day. Sometimes, I fall woefully short, or life intrudes without invitation. Case in point, on a recent Monday, I'd planned to finish reading a book, "Living Oprah", which was an addictive hoot, so please give this a read. No, I get no funds for that recommendation from "Lady O", or the author, Robyn Okrant, though I would turn down neither!! Okay, back to the story. It was my favorite weather-liquid sunshiny (rainy for those of you without my Dr. Darnita to English dictionary) and the Lord even decided to throw in a few rumbles of thunder-bonus blessing!! So there I was with my green tea and a blanket, propped up by too many pillows to count, ready to finish reading March-December (the book is written based on her experiences during the year, broken down by months. Okay no more book references-go read it). Then, I heard the familiar sound of mail dropping through the slot and real life breaking into the pleasure of my Monday. At first I was reluctant to even open it (yes, I know-act on mail when it comes to avoid procrastination and piles, but I'm adding a caveat to that-unless it's "Do nothing Monday". So, as I leave the comfort of my cocoon to take a breather from reading (and for a snack)-I see one of my favs on the floor-bills. Yes, I'm one of those people who enjoy paying bills. I don't enjoy HAVING to pay them, but I enjoy the ACT of paying them (don't try to figure me out on that one). Cutting to the chase-there's a discrepancy on the bill and that sends me into "attack" mode. I don't like being separated from my money when I don't have to be. That single act (the discrepancy) cut the joy (momentarily) of my tranquil day. Isn't it funny that one event, phone call, or conversation can change your mood, plans and interrupt your ideal day? Well, I say that it CAN, but I've chosen not to LET it. Thankfully, I am fanatical about record keeping and my expenses, and the discrepancy was rectified in my favor!! Now, that I've pushed the intrusion out of my mind, it's back to the pillows, my book, blanket and green tea.

Dr. DClutter™

Friday, April 2, 2010


I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. DClutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. DClutter™.

Dr. DClutter™

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Transitional Disorganization and Clutter

You get sidetracked. It's okay because it happens. You've unpacked, but neglected to put the garment bag away. It's okay. It happens. Transitional. Those boxes that were used to ship the items you now regret purchasing, but have yet to return, never made it to the recycling bin. It's okay. It happens. Transitional. You cleaned out your trunk and some of the items made it into your basement. It's okay. It happens. Transitional. It's okay to become transitionally disorganized/cluttered, meaning that the items have a permanent home, but have made a short "pit stop" in a temporary spot. Notice I said, "TEMPORARILY". Don't allow it to become permanent. Now, that you've forgiven yourself for the temporary lapse, get to work. That stuff won't move without you moving it!!



Dr. DClutter™

About Me

My photo
Washington, DC, United States
I am Dr. Darnita L. Payden, Executive Director/Owner of Dr. DClutter™ Life Management, a division of PreciousOnes™ LLC. I have a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and over 20 years of experience working to help clients discover their strengths and talents. Having worked as a therapist, college professor, grief specialist and trainer, I have encountered in my journey many of the issues my clients may face. I have a sincere desire to help you find clarity, organization and independence in your life and environments. I know that life can be hectic, but I desire to help my clients bring as much order, peace and enjoyment back into their lives as is possible. What separates me from the norm? I focus on the client from a holistic perspective. I realize that most people desire a functional and an organized life, but may simply need support, understanding and information about why they have the habits or tendencies that have led to disorganization. I do not perform “quick fixes” or provide “one-size-fits-all” guidance, but I strive to provide strategies to my clients that will be life changing and useful for a lifetime. Dr. DClutter™ is a name well earned!!

Dr. DClutter's™ Publications

  • Dr. DClutter's™ Wiseisms and Thruthisms™ Daily Inspirations, Observations and Humorous Musings
  • Dr. DClutter's™ One-Day-a-Week-Guide to a Year of Random Acts of Kindness (plus 20 extra days just in case)
  • Dr. DClutter's™ 21-Day Journey to a New You
  • Declutter-Four Benefits of an Organized Life
  • Clutter Makes You S.I.G.H.™
  • Simplify. Simplify. How to Declutter Your Life

Blog Archive

Four Benefits of Organization

Four Benefits of Organization

Search Wiseisms and Truthisms Blog

Dr. DClutter™ featured on Walden University Radio

What's Your Organizational Issue?

  • Original content copyright 2011 by Dr. Darnita L. Payden; republication by permission only.